Letting go

W A L L S //

It’s not easy to let go of the walls. After you've grown a certain outer shell, shedding it makes you feel raw and vulnerable and liberated all at the same time.

For far too long have you hidden yourself that you’ve lost a sense of you who are. You've buried emotions so deep that you've forgotten how to feel; held your tongue for so long you start stuttering everytime you speak. You don’t know if people are going to accept you when you let yourself be real, because you've been rejected before. 

People - with all good intentions and efforts - are not perfect. We are all broken, struggling with aspects of ourselves and others that we may never be able to fully accept. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep promoting a greater tolerance and acceptance of diversity in greater society. But on an individual level, it may not be completely realistic to expect that every person will or has to accept every part of us. People will always have something to say, comment, or think about - and it is their right to have those opinions. They also have different backgrounds, stories, and battles that we don't know about. Love from others will always be imperfect.

But we could, perhaps, start to accept ourselves first. There are unique strengths, gifts, and personalities we each bring to the world, as much as we also have flaws and imperfections. Loving ourselves means appreciating those gifts and imperfections, and not needing to be or seem perfect. It also means setting appropriate - not excessive - boundaries, and being selective with the people we let influence our lives so that toxic relationships and thoughts are curtailed. It requires a lot of discernment to decide who we can trust our feelings and stories with, but that should never mean we live in isolation. Only when we learn to love and protect ourselves in good measure do we feel secure, and grow free to love others too. Consequently, love feeds on love: when we start feeling secure and love better, more love seems to come back in turn. “If there’s any hope for love at all, some walls must fall.”

Love is brave. It takes a lot of courage to be real with yourself and others, but healing can only come from that place. And while trust will take time to build, perhaps we can start by taking a deep breath, and learning to trust ourselves first. This starts by appreciating the many things we are - including the things we are not - and being okay with them.

“Let go, let in; something is waiting”

"Walls", by Ann Png.

"Walls", by Ann Png.

Jean TanComment